
When I think back to my mindset as a teenager, I can specifically remember feeling youthful, motivated, excited for life's promises and expectations. I was raised to believe that I could make anything happen in my life. If I applied myself to something or set a goal, there wasn't any reason why I couldn't attain it. I have worked hard to keep that mentality all my life and I strongly pass it on to my boys daily, in hopes that they too will believe in themselves.
I can remember being in my late teens/early twenties seeing "older" women or men at the stores, restaurants, driving their 4 door sedans with 2 + car seats crammed in the back thinking............god they are OLD. Pushing their kids in strollers at the park or yelling at a restaurant and realizing that I can't even imagine that life or most of all not connected to that type of life. Now as I embark into my "late 30s" I realize that holy shit that's ME!!!
Eccckkkkk, where did my cool sense of style go?, my flirty side after 2 glasses of wine has disappeared and my ample sources of energy have dried up. Yikeess!! I have become the boring, grocery shopping, sweatsuit wearing, screaming kids in toe, haggard mother who has to apologize profusely when leaving any food establishment for the mess that we've left behind.
Once I was able to catch my breath I realized that besides the obvious differences in my appearance (30+ lbs since high school, tiny gray hairs creepin' in and my memory isn't as sharp as it was 20 years ago) I don't feel that different on the inside. I still feel lively and youthful, almost like I live a tiny bit younger in my mind :) On the outside I have a motherly look, duties and responsibilities. But on the inside, I am still motivated, high energy and youthful and damn I kinda think I'm 'cool'.
So as I muster through this new journey into mid life, I am so thankful that I haven't given up on myself and that I still believe I deserve to reach my goals and that I can do anything in life. I need to be a little easier on myself. So what if the cute 25 year old doesn't give me a second look or that I might not have an MBA at the end of my business card......I still believe in myself and work hard to be the best wife, mother and friend that I possible can.
So what if my socks don't match or my son spilled his apple juice on the floor at Target..
I still got me.